for the last few weeks I have been thinking about jewelry, fashion, wearable art and textile arts... asking myself questions about product and productivity. why and what i want to make, and how. for what audience? in what capacity would it be available to them? am i addressing the needs of a community, or am i dispensing my point of view for the purpose of its relevance to be reflected back to me? how do i imbue a feeling into a manipulated fiber, metal, or other object? if i do, how literal or conceptual do i want to make it? would it still be wearable? how much time would i devote to half-baked projects? how will i go about my own creative evolution?
perhaps these are questions that are questions only in the sense that their answers remain unknown until they make themselves known. perhaps they are not questions for me to verbalize, to let roll around in my brain, let alone on my tongue; and far be it for me to pose them to another living soul! and yet. they nag. surely it's less work to allow myself to be carried away in the swell, and be washed upon the shore when the sea of contemplations has had its merry way with me. but my instinct is to struggle!
whether these lingering ideas are bringing me closer to or further from creating is a point of debate. being a fabricatin', product-oriented individual i rarely give much time to sheer pontificating. and if i could help it now, i would - it would at least lessen, to a degree, a bit of my own anxiety as a designer/artist/fabricator/creative spirit - to quell the bitty beast inside of me that screeches about hungry-like, as it seems fed only insomuch as my eyes can feast on some finished project born of my own two hands.
this could be seen as the long, overworked, explanatory prose that gives voice to the fact that i'm not posting pictures of things i'm making right now, since i've made it clear that i'm not making anything (!). it also provides a segue to the artgasm i had this week at California College of the Arts' (CCA) textile exhibit. the exhibit that has compelled me not only to embrace and go deeper with my own thoughts about art for arts sake and the significance and purpose of "product," but also to research some textiles programs that i could apply to in the future. yes, i thought it was that good.
when: Thursday
where: Oliver Art Center, California College of the Arts Oakland Campus
who: students, faculty and staff of the CCA Textiles Program
what: an interesting and inspiring look into the textiles program at CCA. when i walked in the first thing i saw was a full-sized buck head made of sticks (acting as a frame for the model) and pulled-taught material. it was uncanny how realistic it was. the hand-embroidered wall hanging of jim jones and his special purple cup resonated with me not only as a possible modern-day kitsch consumer item, but also as reference to our reverence for those thinly veiled, self-proclaimed demi gods who are eye-catching in their flamboyance but ultimately little more than a bit of concentrated handiwork.
in contrast, a circle skirt of found white fabric machine stitched all around, and hand-embroidered around the waist had a strange historical quality to it. it reminded me of recovered materials from the turn of the century - like a child's sunday skirt - well cared for in its time, but yellowed and limp from the relentlessness of dust and the pressure of time.
finally, another piece that i absolutely loved was a series of three-dimensional hearts by
Anne Wolf which channeled her hopes, fears and frustrations over multiple miscarriages and her baby's heart problems. these hearts made in different ways out of her old denim jeans were some realistic, some puzzle-like, yet each exuded a sense of loving, careful craft. each well-thought hope, dream, and love for her babies and their heartbeats stitched neatly - almost painstakingly - into and through the denim.
the creeping depression and the concurrent sinking pressure of not "producing" has been getting to me for the last six months.
